dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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