I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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