Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
