I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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