how can u be prego again
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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