So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
