so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
