maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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