why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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