why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
