awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
