So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
