I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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