at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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