My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
