Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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