Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
