I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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