i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
