dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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