i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She needs sedatives and a leash
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
