dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
