I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize