toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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