You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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