Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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