Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
