My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I need moral support for this bender
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
