If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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