Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
As shirtless as possible
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
