I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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