yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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