do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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