Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
