Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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