and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
