the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
