hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
