chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
