oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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