i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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