So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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