i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We have so much sex to catch up on
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
