oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
