it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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