i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
