I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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