I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
