Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
