I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
