Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In other news, I just burned my penis
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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