You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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