hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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