His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
