If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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