i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
false alarm. still invincible.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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