what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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