So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This baby is an asshole
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
