Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
