I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
